Mark Licitra

sunday

2008-01-28T21:44:00.000-05:00

we went to church. had willow's second baby dedication. ate korean food for lunch. then spent some time with beth's friend's family. the best part of the day came when we got to go on a date compliments of my in-laws. we went to see the movie atonement. it was pretty good. then we ate here.

2008-01-26T20:59:00.000-05:00

hula girl

cousins
willow always makes that face
willow with her brown family

beach again

2008-01-25T02:21:00.000-05:00

its like one big happy communal tub

willow feet and a lei

beth and willow and the waikiki strip
apparently willow has been reading shakespeare

we went to waikiki today after a failed attempt to go to ko olina, which had zero parking. the water was perfect and willow enjoyed it. turns out she's something of a waterbug. i accidentally saw some old ladies' chest. apparently she forgot that she unstrapped her swimsuit top and rolled over just enough to ruin my day. beth went out with a friend tonight so i'm here with willow who is sleeping. hooray for that. i'm going to go read for a little bit.

first day at the beach

2008-01-24T13:12:00.000-05:00

two cousins of approximately the same age finally meet...

2008-01-22T12:50:00.000-05:00

and then one sucks on the other's head.

post about traveling

2008-01-21T13:07:00.000-05:00

get up 6:00 am.. frantically pack. drive to sacramento airport and arrive at 7:30. check in luggage, take off our shoes, go through security. get a breakfast sandwich at burger king. gross i know. board the plane to pheonix. what- why pheonix, how do you spell that anyway? arrive in phoenix 2 hours later and wait 4 hours for flight to honolulu. pace like crazy with baby on back. board flight to honolulu with dirty obnoxious man behind us. fly 6 hour with baby being passed from lap to lap... its your turn. but it just was my turn. finally arrive in honolulu. lots of hugs. eat zippy's chili. mmmmmm.....

10,000 days and san francisco

2008-01-20T12:56:00.000-05:00

today we went to san francisco and i turned 10,000 days old. what a day. we saw the golden gate, that "crookedest" road in the world, fisherman's warf and the sea lions, and ended it all with a dinner at the stinking rose, which brags the world's longest garlic braid (it was about 900 feet long). we also got to see cousins, dave & sarah who live in san fran, which was awesome. oh and we met the white witch in an elevator. she scolded my brother in law- he was holding willow and she said, "you be careful with that beautiful head!" i kept expecting her to offer us turkish delights.

vacation

2008-01-19T14:56:00.000-05:00

well we survived willow's first flight. she had minimal ear pain, but pretty much refused to sleep, so her schedule is all out of whack now. we suffered for that last night- she woke up every hour on the hour. i think beth and i had more ear pain than her. so now we are in sacramento visiting my brother-in-law, waiting for cousins and aunts and uncles to come see us, and then going to pei wei. i love that place.

Mom & Dad at the disco

2007-12-18T22:32:00.001-05:00

Don't send a lame Starring You! eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

2007-12-18T22:30:00.001-05:00

Don't send a lame Holiday eCard. Try JibJab Sendables!

My lung

2007-11-19T20:14:00.000-05:00

In case anybody was curious, or worried sick about me, it turns out I don't have a collapsed lung. I didn't have a heart attack. I didn't puncture a lung and I don't have pnemonia. I either have a bruised or fractured rib. I'll find out when the doctor calls with x-ray results. the question though, is how? I can;t even imagine how i could have broken a rib... weird.

A Simple Plea

2007-11-16T17:09:00.000-05:00

for those who aren't familiar with the mess happening at the university where I received my education, you can catch up here. I can't tell you how disgusted I am with what is happening- because there just are not words for it. its more like an awful feeling in the pit of my stomach every time I read the latest news from tulsa. and I think that awful feeling has not reached its peak yet- which gives me another kind of feeling. anyway, my plea is simple: stop and come clean, roberts family. stop trying to cover things up and pretend like nothing is wrong. stop making a mockery out of your students and alumni. stop making a mockery out of what so many of them have worked so hard to accomplish. stop making a joke out of our faith- and out of the Object of our faith. please just stop- and start talking.

I've thought recently that we really don't have a handle on the practice of confession. I mean if The Roberts family would have said from the beginning something like "we've been doing a lot of things wrong for a long time, and its time for us to step down" the integrity of the university would have been preserved and the family would have been forgiven and it could have all gone away. but instead, they denied and denied and are still denying and the situation has become ridiculous. but don't we all do this? I mean I usually don't readily admit that I was wrong- I try and defend myself first. david did that too when he sinned with bathsheba and samuel had to slap him upside the head. maybe we all need that sometimes, maybe that is what it takes for us to break down and confess our sins. we need to be slapped upside the head by someone who knows better. and maybe that is what the roberts family needs. and i pray that the lord provides someone to do the slapping soon. but... and here is the difficult part- we all have to be ready to forgive if they come clean. they may not ever be fit to run a university, but God help us if we ever decide that they are unfit for redemption.

Couldn't resist

2007-11-12T11:02:00.000-05:00

Its been a while

2007-11-10T20:42:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in almost three months now for a couple of reasons. First I have been a little strapped for time. Also, I really didn't want to bore people with constant updates about Willow- or turn this into one big bragging session. So I avoided blogging altogether. But I'd like to re-introduce myself to this whole thing but whith an expanded focus. I will still post pictures of Willow and talk about her since she is such a huge part of my life. But I also want to share some thoughts about topics that I am passionate about: like faith, music, social justice (although I am starting to cringe when I hear the term), the mets, books, or any combination of these.

Some new pics of Willow

2007-08-20T22:25:00.001-04:00

2007-08-19T17:28:00.000-04:00

Willow is growing by leaps and bounds now. She eats constantly. Seriously. Beth and I are both pretty tired- but Beth more than I. She's doing most of the work. But we can honestly both say that Willow is well worth it. She smiled at me today. It may not have been intentional, but it still felt pretty good. Its incredible how quickly traces of a personality emerge. We already know that she is a slow-poke like both her parents (as evidenced by her eating habits). We also know that she is a cuddler- not all babies are, you know. She is sensitive and reactive (the startle reflex is on hyper drive). She prefers the outdoors to the indoors. And when all of her needs are met, she is very content. And we learned all of this before her 4 week birthday. Beth wanted me to add that she has already experienced a growth spurt, which made Beth feel like a milk machine. I am going to post some more recent pictures.

I know this is morbid

2007-08-17T17:52:00.000-04:00

$4340.00

Man, I would have thought I was worth a little more...

A Message from Willow

2007-08-12T16:53:00.001-04:00

It has been a little while since I posted anything. I guess I've been a little busy. Anyway, in the spirit of my friend Todd's blog, in which he wrote a series of letters to his son while in Guatemala adopting him, I give you a message from our daughter. She wrote every word, I promise.

Hello everyone. I just wanted to take a minute from my busy schedule to say a few words. First of all, WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. Ok, I'm glad I was able to get that off my chest. That has really been on my heart for a while now. So things out here aren't so bad after all. I didn't really know what to expect after living without gravity through my entire in utero experience, but gravity's cool. It's kind of weird though because I can really take advantage of all the open space and stretch out- it was a little cramped in there. I like my Boppy pillow. Its fun to lay there and just look around, throw a few punches and kicks every now and then to entertain the parents. But I'm just trying to use my time to get to know my surroundings. I discovered shadows the other day- they're pretty neat. And a lot of people have come to see me, which has been really fun. Its really too bad I won't remember any of this, because all of this attention would really help my self-esteem when I come to be an adolescent. Except the part about everyone saying over and over that I am so big. I'm glad I won't remember that at age 14. Anyway, since I love pretty much everyone at this point, if you are reading this blog, I can say with confidence that I love you and hope to see you soon. Love, Willow

2007-07-28T16:43:00.000-04:00

A. Willow's feet and Beth's feet
B. Ollie wants to be a part too
C. Naked in the cradle
D. Content
E. Willow loves the baby bjorn

warning... long post

2007-07-28T16:35:00.001-04:00

So our daughter is now only 4 days old, and has already provided Beth and I with the most unique experiences of our lives. Sometimes it has been hard- I mean, really hard; other times it has been completely natural and easy. There has been excruciating pain, absolute elation, exhaustion, exhilaration, laughter, tears, tedious work, and a whole lot of fun. All in the past 4 days (well actually the past 9 or so). No wonder we’re tired.

I don’t have to go much into the early labor stage because I already wrote about it every couple of hours while it was happening. But I will say that the sheer length of it prepared Beth (and I) for a long, arduous labor. On Monday, after her ultrasound, we went to the birth center for another non-stress test and evaluation. The doulas, Tara and Lisa, met us there and Patty, a nurse, set us up in a room. The NST was picture perfect, but by then Beth’s contractions were not as regular as they had been that morning. This was bad because if she wasn’t having contractions at least somewhat regularly, she wouldn’t have been able to have her bag of waters broken, which we were hoping would bring on labor.

The midwife, Peggy, decided to check Beth anyway and discovered that she was between 4 and 5 centimeters, far enough along to break her water, which she did with what looked like a long, plastic knitting needle. That was at 3:30 on Monday afternoon. That was when the fun really started.

What followed was literally hour after hour after hour of contraction after contraction. They got closer and closer, more and more painful. We developed a ritual for Beth to cope with the pain: Beth and I would stand face to face holding each other’s hands and rocking back and forth. Beth would groan with low tones, which actually helped to open her cervix further. (It sounds hokey, I know, but there actually is a physiological reason for it.) Tara and Lisa offered much encouragement, sometimes a massage, and sometimes information. Actually just them being in the room was incredibly helpful. They made Beth and I both feel sane. Occasionally they even took my place in the ritual we had developed.

Every few hours (!) Peggy would come check Beth to determine her current state of dilation. It seemed like she gained a centimeter every time Peggy came, but again that was only every few hours. So we kept on with our ritual, going out to the garden for a while, coming back in and using the birth ball, and going in the Jacuzzi for an hour or so. This was especially helpful for Beth although she didn’t like the jets on. (Later she remarked, “its weird, I thought I would have wanted the jets.”) Both mine and Beth’s parents arrived at the birth center around 9:00 Monday night and brought some dinner, which by then was much appreciated (by me, not Beth; she didn’t want to eat anymore).

When she finally reached 8 centimeters at about 2am, she went back in the Jacuzzi, where she started having a weird sensation during her contractions. When I say weird, I mean it was bizarre for everyone there. Beth didn’t know what was happening to her- she just felt strange, like she had to use the bathroom. The look of confusion on her face confirmed that she didn’t know it was an urge to push that she was feeling. Lisa went to tell Peggy (the midwife) about this turn of events, but Peggy said it wasn’t quite time, she’s only 8 1/2 centimeters. More waiting, more ritual for another hour.

Peggy came back, checked her and said, “push as much as you like.” And Beth did. She pushed non-stop from 4:00am until Willow was born at 9:45. She pushed during contractions, and in between them (in between it wasn;t so effective, but she coudn;t help it.) She barely stopped to rest. We all tried to support her as much as we could, holding up her arms or her legs, giving her water, putting a cold washcloth on her forehead. But it was all Beth now. I couldn’t believe how much determination and drive she had to birth this baby. It made me tired just to watch, but Beth said she felt little pain at this point, just pressure. This was despite the fact that Beth received no anesthesia to get her through labor.

Beth pushed in every position possible: on her back, on a birth stool, on her hands and knees on the bed. The midwife even had us slow-dance through a few contractions while Beth pushed. It wasn’t exactly romantic, but the baby moved further down the birth canal in those three contractions than the previous two hours of pushing on the bed. Eventually a portion of the head became visible, bearing a small tuft of hair. That tuft of hair became the battle cry for the nurses, midwife, and doulas, who used it to encourage Beth along. “I can see the tuft! It’s getting closer!”

The pushing was endless, at least I thought it would be. But finally at 9:45, Peggy said “that’s it, we’ve got to have this baby. The next contraction is it.” And after a small episiotomy, some coaxing from all present, and some serious pulling from the midwife, Beth pushed one more time and out came Willow. They put here immediately on Beth’s chest, skin to skin, and she cried and cried. They put a hat on her and wiped her with a towel. She had a grey cone head and a yellowy-white body. There was so much confusion. Was this really happening? At some point a placenta was born. I cut the cord, took a picture of the baby. Beth was weeping from joy, from relief, from exhaustion. When I looked around, I realized everyone else was crying too. Tara, Lisa, the nurses, myself. There was so much emotion in the room, it was hard to think.

Then I realized that every single person there carried a portion of the burden of birthing our baby. Of course they were crying. They were completely invested in this birth. They put forward every last thread of energy to make sure that Beth felt supported. One nurse stayed three hours late because she “wanted to see the baby,” see the fruits of her labor. In a way, we all gave birth to Willow. I know Beth bore the physical burden, but even Beth says the physical pain was only a small part of the overall struggle. It was the emotional endurance, the persistence, the determination to finish the marathon that we were all a part of. And in the end we all enjoyed the prize.

The rest of the day was a blur. Parents, nurses coming in and out. Willow was cold so we wrapped her in blankets. I took a nap, but it was more like going off to a strange land. When I returned we ate pizza and had milkshakes- a healthy celebration meal. Beth tried to breastfeed. Eventually the nurse weighed Willow, took footprints, and gave a few shots. A few hours later, she got a bath. We had visitors who brought us dinner and Rita’s. We had some final instructions from the nurse a few hours later. And then we went home

2007-07-28T12:37:00.001-04:00

I will post more stuff today

The real answer to the weight poll

2007-07-25T16:11:00.000-04:00

ok ok already... here are a few pictures

2007-07-25T15:41:00.001-04:00

Exhibit A: Mommy and baby minutes after birth

Exhibit B: About an hour old

Exhibit C: Leaving the birth center 12 hours after birth

2007-07-24T23:47:00.000-04:00

Hey everybody- Mark here. We're back from the birth center. I'll post some stuff tomorrow morning. Right now, we are so incredibly tired.

willow: 9lbs 7oz 21.75 inches long !!!

2007-07-24T12:32:00.000-04:00

willow born 9:45 am.us they are weighing her right now. parents tired but completely overjoyed! mommy especially tired, but doing well considering.

2007-07-24T11:58:00.000-04:00

willow has arrived... about a few minutes ago...

2007-07-24T09:55:00.000-04:00

read comments

2007-07-24T05:48:00.001-04:00

2007-07-23T12:05:00.000-04:00

Beth is getting an ultrasound today to measure the amount of amniotic fluid. She will then proceed to the birth center to have another non-stress test. They will then break her bag of waters to try and stimulate labor. She took a 1/2 cup of castor oil this morning so we'll see. All I have to say is if she doesn't give birth today, I'm going to start to wonder if there is really a baby in there.

2007-07-22T20:55:00.001-04:00

Beth spoke with the midwife at about 5 who advised that tonight she would take a sleep aid and get as much rest as possible. Tomorrow morning at 6:30am she will take a megadose of castor oil. My friend Matt tells me that mothers used to use the stuff to punish their children once upon a time. Anyway, by midmorning she should be as miserable as ever, but hopefully, with a little luck, in active labor. The midwife still gave Beth the option of being induced with pitocin anytime prior to Wednesday, which is when Beth won't have the choice but will be induced- like it or not. If she makes it to Wednesday though without giving birth, I'm sure she will like it. So right now she is trying to sleep with the help of a little prescribed medication, but is being kept awake by intense contractions 10 minutes apart. Did anyone think I would still be blogging about this on the 4th day?

2007-07-22T16:49:00.000-04:00

Well, we are still kind of in the same spot as this morning. Beth is getting frustrated. If she doesn't have the baby before tommorrow at 1:15 she has to have an ultrasound at Einstein Center One, one of the few places on earth where the sun has never shone. She is very much opposed to going there and wants this baby out- now. But what do you do? I guess we'll have to wait some more.

2007-07-22T09:38:00.000-04:00

Ok... its been a very long night. Beth started having intense contractions at about 11 o'clock. I woke up at 1:30 to see her standing by the bed crying. They come every 9 to 12 minutes and are strong enough that she can;t talk through them. This is a good thing. She didn't sleep at all. I slept enough to have a dream that Beth and I were playing the game of Life with Jerry and Lis (friends from college) in our apartment, that was actually the second floor of my parents house. I went into the bathroom and lost a tooth. Then I realized a bottom tooth was loose and then that one fell out. You can't imagine my relief when in my dream, I realized it was just a dream and I actually have all my teeth. I was telling people "this is a dream, in real life I have all my teeth." Anyway, we'll see where this goes today, but Beth is in a ton of pain so we hope she decides to be born soon.

2007-07-21T10:59:00.000-04:00

Well, its now Day 3. Beth is still having pretty strong contractions, and feels as though the baby has dropped more. So thats good. Also good is Beth's marked shift in mood. Up until this morning she's been handling her contractions with grace. Today she woke up, shall we say, a little crabby. I mean, can you blame her? But this is good news, despite the fact that I am the recipient of this crabbiness. The midwives say this is a sign that things may be progressing. and any progress at this point is welcome.

2007-07-20T22:08:00.000-04:00

So Beth's contractions are still pretty irregular. But strong. And she has clammy hands. When I told her her hands are clammy she said " well excuse me I'm only birthing your child!" Jeez- I was just saying...

2007-07-20T19:11:00.001-04:00

Anybody know any good jokes?

2007-07-20T11:59:00.000-04:00

Back from the birth center... so here are the intimate details about my wife's cervix: she is 3 centimeters dialated, 100% effaced ("ripe"), and the baby is at a +1 station, meaning she's moving into the birth canal. She had a non-stress test, and the midwife said the results were a textbook example of how they should look. A non stress test measures the heart rate over thirty minutes with the intention of comparing it to the baby's movements. If the heart rate goes up after a movement, everything is great; if it goes down, something may be wrong because the baby has to use so much energy to move that its heart rate suffers afterward. She will have another NST on Monday if the baby isn't born.

With any luck, she'll be born this weekend. We are kind of hoping for Sunday now because the midwife Beth really likes is on call. She really likes all of them, but this one she really, really likes. So I am going back to work today. If the baby isn't born by Monday, she will have another NST, but she will also have an ultrasound to measure the amount of amniotic fluid. If she doesn't go into labor by Wednesday, she will go to the hospital and start pitocin on Thursday morning.

Meanwhile, Beth is still having contractions, but less frequently.

Day 2

2007-07-20T08:09:00.000-04:00

Good morning... welcome to hour 29 of what is still considered early labor. Starting last night Beth is no longer allowed to read this blog or discuss its contents. Its discouraging, which believe it or not, slows labor. The good news is we both got some quality rest last night. That is really important because once we really get going, there is no going back, and definatley no sleep. So we seized the opportunity. Beth has an appointment at the birth center for a regular prenatal appointment in an hour, so we are really hoping it will be good news. (such as you are 9-10 centimeters and its almost time to push!) Anyway, at this point its most important that Beth hang in there emotionally, so prayers are greatly appreciated.

2007-07-19T23:17:00.001-04:00

The midwife says no more castor oil... and she wouldn't have recommended it last night either. oops.

2007-07-19T21:58:00.000-04:00

Beth is experiencing somewhat of a contractional renaissance. Did I just coin a new term? Anyway, its 10pm and we just ate dinner- homemade won ton soup, and lemon pepper chicken stir fry at Beth's request. She is getting strong contractions, just not consistently. I guess this isn't happening today,but likely will tomorrow. So in the meantime, we are going to try and get some rest.

2007-07-19T20:35:00.001-04:00

Wait a minute.... we may have a possible resurgence here.

2007-07-19T19:36:00.001-04:00

So we're back from the mall and wegmans. Unfortunately, the contractions have become less frequent and less intense. But they say this is a normal part of the process. All I know is if this girl is anything like her parents, we are in this for the long haul... plenty more updates to follow. Oh and I convinced Beth to let me post pictures. So they will be forthcoming.

2007-07-19T14:19:00.000-04:00

We're off to the mall! Not to shop, but to walk. Contractions have slowed down, so we are going to try to jostle things up a bit. We are going to make this girl be born.

2007-07-19T13:38:00.000-04:00

I think things may have slowed a bit. Beth is up and about walking through her contractions, eating lunch, etc. We are all just waiting for her waters to burst.

2007-07-19T11:56:00.000-04:00

Wow that nap helped. Beth actually slept too. In fact, she's sleeping now- which is good, because its going to be a long, long day.

2007-07-19T10:34:00.000-04:00

Beth won't let me post pictures of her in agony. I wonder why. Six minutes apart now. The midwife said we will need to go to the birth center when they are four minutes apart. She also said that could take all day. I think its naptime now- for me, that is... Beth can't get comfortable.

2007-07-19T09:35:00.001-04:00

Contractions are getting stronger. Beth winces when a strong one comes. She reports to her dad when one comes and he writes it in a notebook, while her mom says "Hon, she's having one! Quick write it down!"

We're watching The Three Amigos.

still early

2007-07-19T08:14:00.000-04:00

Well Beth is chugging along, still bouncing on the ball and watching the Office for distraction. She decided a shower would help. We are currently waiting to hear back from the midwife on call. Also I called the doula, but I haven't heard from her yet. So we'll keep waiting...

I think its about time I start blogging...

2007-07-19T05:07:00.001-04:00

... and what better time than when Beth is in labor? Thats right- Beth is in some form of labor, be it early labor, pre-labor, or false labor. At this stage, giving birth feels a lot like figuring out my eschatological view, although if that were really true I might be inclined to think that this is false labor, or at the most pre-pre-labor, but only because of the locust plague in Africa I heard about this past week. Forgive me, its early.

So here is what is happening. Beth woke up at about 4:30 to a pretty strong contraction. She started having them irregularly over the past few days. We have tried every old wives' tale to get labor going. Last night she finally broke down and drank castor oil in a a strawberry shake from Wawa. Apparently what happens when you take castor oil is that you first have wicked diarhea, and then a baby. Well, at least we know the first part is true.

So it's now 5:30AM and Beth is sitting on her exercise ball bouncing away her contractions. They are becoming more regular and she is logging them in a notebook to help her figure out the time. They are currently about nine minutes apart, each lasting about 2 minutes. When she gets to the point that they are 5 minute apart, lasting 1 minute for an hour, we get to go to the birth center. Until then, she will labor at home.

I will attempt to update this throughout the day so everyone knows whats going on. Once we leave for the birth center, I will probably have to work through a proxy, but I will still try and update. We will see how this works, but please check back throughout the day. So all I have left to say for now is here we go...