Saturday, July 28, 2007







A. Willow's feet and Beth's feet
B. Ollie wants to be a part too
C. Naked in the cradle
D. Content
E. Willow loves the baby bjorn

warning... long post

So our daughter is now only 4 days old, and has already provided Beth and I with the most unique experiences of our lives. Sometimes it has been hard- I mean, really hard; other times it has been completely natural and easy. There has been excruciating pain, absolute elation, exhaustion, exhilaration, laughter, tears, tedious work, and a whole lot of fun. All in the past 4 days (well actually the past 9 or so). No wonder we’re tired.

I don’t have to go much into the early labor stage because I already wrote about it every couple of hours while it was happening. But I will say that the sheer length of it prepared Beth (and I) for a long, arduous labor. On Monday, after her ultrasound, we went to the birth center for another non-stress test and evaluation. The doulas, Tara and Lisa, met us there and Patty, a nurse, set us up in a room. The NST was picture perfect, but by then Beth’s contractions were not as regular as they had been that morning. This was bad because if she wasn’t having contractions at least somewhat regularly, she wouldn’t have been able to have her bag of waters broken, which we were hoping would bring on labor.

The midwife, Peggy, decided to check Beth anyway and discovered that she was between 4 and 5 centimeters, far enough along to break her water, which she did with what looked like a long, plastic knitting needle. That was at 3:30 on Monday afternoon. That was when the fun really started.

What followed was literally hour after hour after hour of contraction after contraction. They got closer and closer, more and more painful. We developed a ritual for Beth to cope with the pain: Beth and I would stand face to face holding each other’s hands and rocking back and forth. Beth would groan with low tones, which actually helped to open her cervix further. (It sounds hokey, I know, but there actually is a physiological reason for it.) Tara and Lisa offered much encouragement, sometimes a massage, and sometimes information. Actually just them being in the room was incredibly helpful. They made Beth and I both feel sane. Occasionally they even took my place in the ritual we had developed.

Every few hours (!) Peggy would come check Beth to determine her current state of dilation. It seemed like she gained a centimeter every time Peggy came, but again that was only every few hours. So we kept on with our ritual, going out to the garden for a while, coming back in and using the birth ball, and going in the Jacuzzi for an hour or so. This was especially helpful for Beth although she didn’t like the jets on. (Later she remarked, “its weird, I thought I would have wanted the jets.”) Both mine and Beth’s parents arrived at the birth center around 9:00 Monday night and brought some dinner, which by then was much appreciated (by me, not Beth; she didn’t want to eat anymore).

When she finally reached 8 centimeters at about 2am, she went back in the Jacuzzi, where she started having a weird sensation during her contractions. When I say weird, I mean it was bizarre for everyone there. Beth didn’t know what was happening to her- she just felt strange, like she had to use the bathroom. The look of confusion on her face confirmed that she didn’t know it was an urge to push that she was feeling. Lisa went to tell Peggy (the midwife) about this turn of events, but Peggy said it wasn’t quite time, she’s only 8 1/2 centimeters. More waiting, more ritual for another hour.

Peggy came back, checked her and said, “push as much as you like.” And Beth did. She pushed non-stop from 4:00am until Willow was born at 9:45. She pushed during contractions, and in between them (in between it wasn;t so effective, but she coudn;t help it.) She barely stopped to rest. We all tried to support her as much as we could, holding up her arms or her legs, giving her water, putting a cold washcloth on her forehead. But it was all Beth now. I couldn’t believe how much determination and drive she had to birth this baby. It made me tired just to watch, but Beth said she felt little pain at this point, just pressure. This was despite the fact that Beth received no anesthesia to get her through labor.

Beth pushed in every position possible: on her back, on a birth stool, on her hands and knees on the bed. The midwife even had us slow-dance through a few contractions while Beth pushed. It wasn’t exactly romantic, but the baby moved further down the birth canal in those three contractions than the previous two hours of pushing on the bed. Eventually a portion of the head became visible, bearing a small tuft of hair. That tuft of hair became the battle cry for the nurses, midwife, and doulas, who used it to encourage Beth along. “I can see the tuft! It’s getting closer!”

The pushing was endless, at least I thought it would be. But finally at 9:45, Peggy said “that’s it, we’ve got to have this baby. The next contraction is it.” And after a small episiotomy, some coaxing from all present, and some serious pulling from the midwife, Beth pushed one more time and out came Willow. They put here immediately on Beth’s chest, skin to skin, and she cried and cried. They put a hat on her and wiped her with a towel. She had a grey cone head and a yellowy-white body. There was so much confusion. Was this really happening? At some point a placenta was born. I cut the cord, took a picture of the baby. Beth was weeping from joy, from relief, from exhaustion. When I looked around, I realized everyone else was crying too. Tara, Lisa, the nurses, myself. There was so much emotion in the room, it was hard to think.

Then I realized that every single person there carried a portion of the burden of birthing our baby. Of course they were crying. They were completely invested in this birth. They put forward every last thread of energy to make sure that Beth felt supported. One nurse stayed three hours late because she “wanted to see the baby,” see the fruits of her labor. In a way, we all gave birth to Willow. I know Beth bore the physical burden, but even Beth says the physical pain was only a small part of the overall struggle. It was the emotional endurance, the persistence, the determination to finish the marathon that we were all a part of. And in the end we all enjoyed the prize.

The rest of the day was a blur. Parents, nurses coming in and out. Willow was cold so we wrapped her in blankets. I took a nap, but it was more like going off to a strange land. When I returned we ate pizza and had milkshakes- a healthy celebration meal. Beth tried to breastfeed. Eventually the nurse weighed Willow, took footprints, and gave a few shots. A few hours later, she got a bath. We had visitors who brought us dinner and Rita’s. We had some final instructions from the nurse a few hours later. And then we went home
I will post more stuff today

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

The real answer to the weight poll

ok ok already... here are a few pictures



Exhibit A: Mommy and baby minutes after birth

Exhibit B: About an hour old

Exhibit C: Leaving the birth center 12 hours after birth

Monday, July 23, 2007

Beth is getting an ultrasound today to measure the amount of amniotic fluid. She will then proceed to the birth center to have another non-stress test. They will then break her bag of waters to try and stimulate labor. She took a 1/2 cup of castor oil this morning so we'll see. All I have to say is if she doesn't give birth today, I'm going to start to wonder if there is really a baby in there.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Beth spoke with the midwife at about 5 who advised that tonight she would take a sleep aid and get as much rest as possible. Tomorrow morning at 6:30am she will take a megadose of castor oil. My friend Matt tells me that mothers used to use the stuff to punish their children once upon a time. Anyway, by midmorning she should be as miserable as ever, but hopefully, with a little luck, in active labor. The midwife still gave Beth the option of being induced with pitocin anytime prior to Wednesday, which is when Beth won't have the choice but will be induced- like it or not. If she makes it to Wednesday though without giving birth, I'm sure she will like it. So right now she is trying to sleep with the help of a little prescribed medication, but is being kept awake by intense contractions 10 minutes apart. Did anyone think I would still be blogging about this on the 4th day?
Well, we are still kind of in the same spot as this morning. Beth is getting frustrated. If she doesn't have the baby before tommorrow at 1:15 she has to have an ultrasound at Einstein Center One, one of the few places on earth where the sun has never shone. She is very much opposed to going there and wants this baby out- now. But what do you do? I guess we'll have to wait some more.
Ok... its been a very long night. Beth started having intense contractions at about 11 o'clock. I woke up at 1:30 to see her standing by the bed crying. They come every 9 to 12 minutes and are strong enough that she can;t talk through them. This is a good thing. She didn't sleep at all. I slept enough to have a dream that Beth and I were playing the game of Life with Jerry and Lis (friends from college) in our apartment, that was actually the second floor of my parents house. I went into the bathroom and lost a tooth. Then I realized a bottom tooth was loose and then that one fell out. You can't imagine my relief when in my dream, I realized it was just a dream and I actually have all my teeth. I was telling people "this is a dream, in real life I have all my teeth." Anyway, we'll see where this goes today, but Beth is in a ton of pain so we hope she decides to be born soon.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

Well, its now Day 3. Beth is still having pretty strong contractions, and feels as though the baby has dropped more. So thats good. Also good is Beth's marked shift in mood. Up until this morning she's been handling her contractions with grace. Today she woke up, shall we say, a little crabby. I mean, can you blame her? But this is good news, despite the fact that I am the recipient of this crabbiness. The midwives say this is a sign that things may be progressing. and any progress at this point is welcome.

Friday, July 20, 2007

So Beth's contractions are still pretty irregular. But strong. And she has clammy hands. When I told her her hands are clammy she said " well excuse me I'm only birthing your child!" Jeez- I was just saying...
Anybody know any good jokes?
Back from the birth center... so here are the intimate details about my wife's cervix: she is 3 centimeters dialated, 100% effaced ("ripe"), and the baby is at a +1 station, meaning she's moving into the birth canal. She had a non-stress test, and the midwife said the results were a textbook example of how they should look. A non stress test measures the heart rate over thirty minutes with the intention of comparing it to the baby's movements. If the heart rate goes up after a movement, everything is great; if it goes down, something may be wrong because the baby has to use so much energy to move that its heart rate suffers afterward. She will have another NST on Monday if the baby isn't born.

With any luck, she'll be born this weekend. We are kind of hoping for Sunday now because the midwife Beth really likes is on call. She really likes all of them, but this one she really, really likes. So I am going back to work today. If the baby isn't born by Monday, she will have another NST, but she will also have an ultrasound to measure the amount of amniotic fluid. If she doesn't go into labor by Wednesday, she will go to the hospital and start pitocin on Thursday morning.

Meanwhile, Beth is still having contractions, but less frequently.

Day 2

Good morning... welcome to hour 29 of what is still considered early labor. Starting last night Beth is no longer allowed to read this blog or discuss its contents. Its discouraging, which believe it or not, slows labor. The good news is we both got some quality rest last night. That is really important because once we really get going, there is no going back, and definatley no sleep. So we seized the opportunity. Beth has an appointment at the birth center for a regular prenatal appointment in an hour, so we are really hoping it will be good news. (such as you are 9-10 centimeters and its almost time to push!) Anyway, at this point its most important that Beth hang in there emotionally, so prayers are greatly appreciated.

Thursday, July 19, 2007

The midwife says no more castor oil... and she wouldn't have recommended it last night either. oops.
Beth is experiencing somewhat of a contractional renaissance. Did I just coin a new term? Anyway, its 10pm and we just ate dinner- homemade won ton soup, and lemon pepper chicken stir fry at Beth's request. She is getting strong contractions, just not consistently. I guess this isn't happening today,but likely will tomorrow. So in the meantime, we are going to try and get some rest.
Wait a minute.... we may have a possible resurgence here.
So we're back from the mall and wegmans. Unfortunately, the contractions have become less frequent and less intense. But they say this is a normal part of the process. All I know is if this girl is anything like her parents, we are in this for the long haul... plenty more updates to follow. Oh and I convinced Beth to let me post pictures. So they will be forthcoming.
We're off to the mall! Not to shop, but to walk. Contractions have slowed down, so we are going to try to jostle things up a bit. We are going to make this girl be born.
I think things may have slowed a bit. Beth is up and about walking through her contractions, eating lunch, etc. We are all just waiting for her waters to burst.
Wow that nap helped. Beth actually slept too. In fact, she's sleeping now- which is good, because its going to be a long, long day.
Beth won't let me post pictures of her in agony. I wonder why. Six minutes apart now. The midwife said we will need to go to the birth center when they are four minutes apart. She also said that could take all day. I think its naptime now- for me, that is... Beth can't get comfortable.
Contractions are getting stronger. Beth winces when a strong one comes. She reports to her dad when one comes and he writes it in a notebook, while her mom says "Hon, she's having one! Quick write it down!"

We're watching The Three Amigos.

still early

Well Beth is chugging along, still bouncing on the ball and watching the Office for distraction. She decided a shower would help. We are currently waiting to hear back from the midwife on call. Also I called the doula, but I haven't heard from her yet. So we'll keep waiting...

I think its about time I start blogging...

... and what better time than when Beth is in labor? Thats right- Beth is in some form of labor, be it early labor, pre-labor, or false labor. At this stage, giving birth feels a lot like figuring out my eschatological view, although if that were really true I might be inclined to think that this is false labor, or at the most pre-pre-labor, but only because of the locust plague in Africa I heard about this past week. Forgive me, its early.

So here is what is happening. Beth woke up at about 4:30 to a pretty strong contraction. She started having them irregularly over the past few days. We have tried every old wives' tale to get labor going. Last night she finally broke down and drank castor oil in a a strawberry shake from Wawa. Apparently what happens when you take castor oil is that you first have wicked diarhea, and then a baby. Well, at least we know the first part is true.

So it's now 5:30AM and Beth is sitting on her exercise ball bouncing away her contractions. They are becoming more regular and she is logging them in a notebook to help her figure out the time. They are currently about nine minutes apart, each lasting about 2 minutes. When she gets to the point that they are 5 minute apart, lasting 1 minute for an hour, we get to go to the birth center. Until then, she will labor at home.

I will attempt to update this throughout the day so everyone knows whats going on. Once we leave for the birth center, I will probably have to work through a proxy, but I will still try and update. We will see how this works, but please check back throughout the day. So all I have left to say for now is here we go...